"♪ I'm carvin' in Gramma's house, carvin' in Gramma's house, ♪"
"♪ And waitin' for my best friend! ♪"
"I'll get the door, Master Remy."
"Remy's here, Remy's here, Remy's here!"
"Uh Remy, you gonna come outside?"
"Do you require anything else today, Master Remy?"
"Perhaps your favorite cucumber slices?"
"I'm feeling mirabulous today. And if I need anything,"
"...I brought my no limit credit card."
"Very good, Master Remy."
"Wow, Remy. You're in rare form. What was that thing you said?"
"Oh. HASHTAG, FLAUNT YO STAAAACKS!"
"Just like Itchaboi says!"
""Itchy Boy"? Are you an itchy boy?"
"Gramma's got some lotion inside if you need any."
"You haven't heard of Itchaboi?"
"Have you been living under a rock?"
"Well, Itchaboi is my favorite social media influencer."
"Here, I'll show you a video."
"What's up, best friends!"
"All right, guys. It's Flex On Your Haters Friday,"
"...so you know I'm gonna list off everyone who's wronged me!"
"...it's time to HASHTAG, FLAUNT YO STAAAAAAACKS!"
"I don't get it. He's just got a lot of money and brags about it."
"Nuh-uh! He gets real sometimes!"
"What's up, my precious peeps?"
"Are haters trying to offer you valid criticism?"
"If so, support my new initiave:"
"...ALL MY NEW MIRABULOUS MERCH!"
"LINK IN THE DESCRIPTIOOOOOOOOON!"
"Bah, you see there? He's just tryin' to sell stuff."
"Yeah, I can't help it! He's so genuine, and I wanna support him!"
"Are you guys talking about Itchaboi?"
"MIRABULOUS FOR LIIIIFE!"
"What has gotten into that young man?!"
"An endless portal of cat videos?"
"I may never close my eyes again."
"Tilly, we've talked about this, you have to blink."
"Sorry, Papa. I was just perusin', some world of quality content the internet has to offer."
"Who's makin' these videos?"
"Anyone can make a video about anything."
"Here's one you'd like, Papa."
"Hey, guys. Today I'm gonna teach you --"
"...how to grout your tiles with a handy life hack."
"First, plop some eggs on the floor,"
"...and then add a little sand."
"Finally, you just gotta smear it around..."
"...and really...push...in!"
"What is he doin'?! This is all wrong!"
"I'd like to launch a complaint!"
"Why don't you make your own video?"
"Well, I'd love to spread proper information,"
"...but I don't know how to make a video."
"It's okay, Papa. I'll help!"
"What's up, my cherished homies?"
"It's ya boy, Itchaboi!!"
"I love you more than your parents ever will."
"And I got a real special treat for y'all:"
"I'm opening up the first-ever..."
"...Hashtag Be Mirabulous pop-up store."
"OHHHHHHHH, I don't pay taxes!"
"Don't 'cha wanna follow me around and get into wacky antics like normal?"
"But...if we don't go now, he's gonna burn all his merchandise that doesn't get sold."
"Ah, you wouldn't get it, Cricket. You don't really like the internet. Or merch."
"They're already out of posters! WE HAVE TO GO NOW!!"
"Oh, come on, guys! Come on!"
"FLAUNT YO STACKS! FLAUNT YO STACKS!"
"Oh, really?! Come on, this is ridiculous!"
"...don't you think Remy's gettin'..."
"...a little too into this nonsense?"
"I think Master Remy's having fun, and doesn't need you ruining it."
"You're gonna beat up a kid, huh?"
"...what are you doin' with that?"
Tilly: "And...we're rollin'."
"Hello, I'm BillGreen123."
"And I'm going to show you..."
"...the right way to reapply grout."
"...because this is going to be..."
"...a long and detail-oriented video."
"...make sure you've got your grout spreader."
"...as we call it in the biz."
"Uh, Tilly? Am I still in the shot?"
"Papa, I gotta be honest with you. I don't think anyone's gonna watch this video."
"But I'm speakin' clearly and concisely about grout!"
"That may be true, but people nowadays have short attention spans."
"You gotta keep them distracted with cats."
"...let me help you there."
"Now remember...don't let any..."
"...setbacks keep you from...gettin'..."
"...the tile floor...of your dreams!"
"I came here to buy everything!"
"Somebody's gotta talk some sense into Remy!"
"This costs 800 dollars!"
"Aww, yeah! Now we're officially mirabulous!"
"Okay, look, I didn't wanna mess with your fun."
"But I'm startin' to feel like this whole thing is a scam!"
"Now you just sound like one of Itchaboi's haters."
"I just feel very strongly that this Itchaboi guy is stringing you along!"
"Okay, you three are hopeless."
"But Remy, this isn't you!"
"You never cared about flankin' your stakes or whatever..."
"...before this weirdo showed up!"
"You just don't get it, Cricket!"
"Itchaboi's message is about spreading positivity..."
"...by buying merchandise so that other people know..."
"...how much positivity are spreading!"
"You gotta know how STUPID that sounds!!"
"I thought you were my friend!"
"I'M JUST TRYIN' TO HELP!!!"
Tilly: "Welcome, distinguished guests."
"To the world premiere of Papa's instructional grout video."
"Although, I may have taken a few creative liberties."
"Hello! I'm BillGreen123,"
"...and I'm going to show you --"
"...the right way to reapply grout."
Distorted voice: "GROUT."
"Here, let me help you there."
Distorted voice: "GROUT."
Distorted voice: "GROUT."
Gramma: "What's this for now?"
Distorted voice: "GROUT."
Distorted voice: "GROUT."
Tilly in voice-over: "Made by Tilly."
"Anyway, the video is very interesting, but..."
"...where's all the grout information?"
"Oh, that stuff just wasn't playin'."
"I think this is what the people are gonna wanna see."
"Well...you're the director."
"All right, I'm gonna go finish groutin' the kitchen tile."
"I don't know what's wrong with Bill, but this is comedy gold!"
Poor Tilly, could get her video right.
"What's good, ma' sweet buds?"
"You mean the world to me!"
"Now I know you all wish I was there,"
"but I couldn't make it..."
"I didn't sleep well last night."
"Anyway, I'm here to tell you about..."
"...something even better..."
"The mirabulous crewse for my mirabulous crew!"
"My private party bus is waiting outside to take you to the dock."
"...I promise-promise-promise..."
"...you'll get to meet...me."
"We could meet Itchaboi?!"
"...tickets are only ONE MILLION DOLLAAAARS!!!"
"Aww..."
Weezie: "Man, what?"
"Aww, Kiki, that's too bad..."
Vasquez: "Listen, Master Cricket."
"You are not allowed to talk to Master Remy."
"Well, that's just fine, 'cause I wanna talk to you!"
"Isn't it your job to protect Remy?"
"Itchaboi is turning Remy into..."
"...a brainwashed zombie..."
"...who will buy anything mirabulous..."
"...and calls his friends haters!"
"Master Remy is the sweet-loving tender boy we've always known."
"I'm spending a million dollars to go live on a boat with a stranger from the internet!
"FLAUNT YO STAAAAAAAAACKS!"
"Okay, I see what you were sayin' now."
"If Remy spends all that time with Itchaboi,"
"...he'll be lost forever."
"We gotta work together and stop him from gettin' on that boat!"
"Papa? I'm really sorry about the --"
"Ah...I see you've tiled..."
"I'm very passionate about grout."
"Papa, that's why I'm here."
"I wasn't a very good collaborator."
"So I re-edited the footage to include both our ideas."
"To finish up, you gotta tilt at a nice 360-degree angle,"
"...and voila! There ya go!"
"In my next video, I'll show you how to install drywall without the fuss."
"Humph! The original was better!"
Tilly in voice-over: "This has been a Billy Tilly production."
Gramma as end card: "What's this for now?"
"Thanks, Tilly. We make a good team."
Gramma: "Oh, my stitches...!"
"Is swimming really the best way to get here?"
"I needed to get my cardio..."
"Itchaboi, I'm here! It's ya best friend, Remy!"
Itchaboi: "Yes I am, little dude!"
"Wowwee, you're really here!"
"Whoa! No hugs yet, buddy!" (Foreshadowing...)
"Before I give you any sort of validation for your behavior,"
"...a-one million dollars?"
"Oh, yeah! Anything for you, best friend!"
"Hey! Gimmie back my card!"
"Get Master Remy off the boat!"
"CASH SLAP! CASH SLAP! CASH SLAP! CASH SLAP!"
"Gimmie back my mons, you hater!"
"Come on, Remy! He's not your friend!"
"You're just an open wallet to him!"
"You shouldn't listen to Itchaboi!"
"And what?! Listen to you, instead?!"
"CASH SLAP! CASH SLAP! CASH SLAP!"
"Master Cricket! What's the holdup?"
Cricket: "Here, take it."
"You shouldn't listen to Itchaboi or me."
"You should do what makes ya happy."
"Because I'll be your friend either way."
"Ha! He's giving up! Now let's party together, little man."
"...and that one million dollars."
"I'm gonna go with the most mirabulous person I know..."
"Ha-ha, good to have you back, buddy!"
"Sorry, Itchaboi. It's been real, but..."
"I know who my true friends are."
SO HE JUST A HOLOGRAM????!!!! Why?!?!?!
"I WAS A HOLOGRAM THE WHOLE TIIIIIME!"
"Wow. What was I thinking?"
"What do you say we get outta here, best friends?"
Distorted voice: "GROUT."