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"Fill Bill" | Next: "Critterball Crisis" |
Docks, somewhere[]
(Episode title appears on a floating life ring in the water. Pans up to reveal a lavish seafood restaurant, Sea Fusïon.)
Sea Fusïon, main entrance[]
(The Greens enter.)
All but Gramma: Wow...
(A series of multi-shots show the extravaganza of the restaurant.)
Cricket (OS): We didn't have restaurants like this back in the country.
Gramma: (under her breath) I don't like it. Feels too city-fied!
Bill: That's the point. I figured we'd all enjoy a genuine Big City dining experience. (holds up a card) Plus, I've got a gift card, so it's free!
Cricket: Niiiice.
Purple hostess: (walks up) Hi there! Welcome to Sea Fusïon.
Bill: Howdy!
Purple hostess: Ooh! Where are you all visiting from?
Bill: (confused) "Visiting from"? (chuckles) Oh, no. We live here!
Cricket: AND WE'LL DIE HERE, TOO!
Bill: Cricket, please.
Purple waitress: All righty then. If you'll follow me, I've got a table for you.
(They follow her.)
Cricket: What the heck kinda food is Sea Fusïon?
Tilly: It's taken two different types of food and blended them together to make one.
Cricket: Like if you put an egg...on a donut? (imagines such)
Tilly: Yeah, but with fish.
Cricket: (imagines that too and gasps) I want it!
Greens' table[]
(The hostess shows a booth.)
Purple hostess: Here you are. (They sit down; hands them menus) Here are your menus, and your waiter will be with you shortly.
All but Gramma: Oooooh!
Cricket: I'm gonna order the craziest, wackiest thing here!
Gramma: That won't be hard. It's all GARBAGE! (tosses her menu away)
Offscreen customer: OW!
Gramma: What kinda restaurant doesn't serve PIZZA?!
Bill: They do -- in smoothie form.
(He shows a page which displays a "Shrimpy-Pizzy Smoothie".)
Bill: See? The Shrimpy-Pizzy Smoothie!
Gramma: Eugh!! Pizza's for eatin', not drinkin'! (sees something) Huh?
(Zoom past Bill to a trident hanging from a plaque over the couple just down the path from them.)
Gramma (OS): What the...? (cut to her) Where have I seen that trident before?
(Their bespecticled purple-skinned, blue-haired waiter steps up to them.)
Waiter: Goooooood evening, folks! Have you decided on what you'd like to order?
Bill: Yes. I think I'll have the fish 'n chips.
Waiter: Ah...yes, a popular dish for tourists.
Bill: No. Now you see, I'm not a tourist -- I live in Big City!
Waiter: Oh!...Really? Then in that case, you should order what all the locals order...
(He flips Bill's menu to the "Sea Fusïon Tsunami" page, showing several fish flavored meals.)
Waiter: The Sea Fusïon Tsunami! A twelve-course meal of our most creative sea fusions.
Bill: Well, then...as a local, I will have that. (closes menu)
Waiter: Very well... (smirks; to Tilly) And for you, sweetie?
Tilly: I will have the seahorse salad.
Gramma: And I'll have the "phony baloney" or whatever.
Waiter: Ha, fantastic. Our phony baloney comes with two sides.
Gramma: GAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Cricket: (walking on the chair) Listen, buddy, I'm gonna shoot straight with you here. This stuff on the menu looks a biiiiiit tame. I'm lookin' for somethin' wild, off-menu. Ya follow?
Waiter: (sneering) Oh, I follow. (to the purple waitress) Janine? This gentleman will be having the sea monster burger.
Purple waitress (Janine): (gasps) Mmm-hmm! (leaves)
Waiter: I'll be back with your drinks.
Cricket: (sits down) Did you guys hear that?! A sea monster! Soon to be in my tummy.
Gramma: That's IT! (slams a fist) I remember! (looks at the trident) I knew that trident looked familiar! It was MINE!
Flashback[]
(Flashback to Gramma sailing the stormy seas on a boat with the trident.)
Gramma (VO): Back when I was sailin' abroad, my trusty trident and I tamed all matter of sea and nature!
(End flashback.)
Sea Fusïon, Greens' table[]
Gramma: Until those protesters made a stop. After that, it went missin'! (gets out of her seat) You all enjoy your dinner of whack-a-doo, I'm gonna go get it back! (stomps away)
Bill: Ma, please don't cause a scene!
(The waiter returns with the food; first he serves Bill.)
Waiter: Here's your first course sir: our sushi starter, and here are your chopsticks. As a local, surely you know how to use chopsticks...don't you?
Bill: Oh, uh... (chuckles) Of course! (takes them) Thank you!
(He struggles to use them correctly; one pokes him in the eye.)
Bill: Ow!
Waiter: Sir? I see you're having trouble. If you'd like, we do provide a service.
(At another table, two more waiters hold chopsticks for a couple as they eat their rice.)
Waiter (OS): Our trained chopstick professionals can assist in getting your food into your valve.
(Cut back to he and Bill.)
Waiter: It's a big hit with a tourist.
Bill: (very annoyed) I think I'll be just fine on my own, thank you.
Waiter: Of course!
(Again, Bill struggles until he finally holds them correctly.)
Bill: Ha! I did it! Not too bad, eh?
(He eats the sushi, only to find it tastes horrible.)
Waiter: Many tourists are put off by the bitter jellyfish jelly, but...not us locals, right? (chuckles)
Bill: Mmm-hmm...!!
Waiter: Fantastic! I'll get your next course. (leaves)
(Bill swallows the sushi and groans.)
Cricket: Oh... watchin' you eat is giving me the hunger pains!
Waiter (OS): Sorry for the wait. Here's your meal.
Cricket: Finally!
(The waiter puts a covered plate before him.)
Waiter: I hope you enjoy your... (unveils a live octopus between two burger buns) Sea monster burger!
(Cricket stares at his "meal" rather uncomfortably.)
Cricket: Well, I wanted to get wild... so let's get wild. Sorry, fella. Nothin' personal. Food chain and whatnot. (grabs chopsticks) Hmm. Now let me see... (poking at it) What's the best way to do this?
(He grabs a tentacle and directs it toward his open mouth.)
Cricket: Ahhhhh... (The tentacles grab him.) Oh, no.
(It glomps onto his entire face; he struggles to pull it off.)
Cricket: Whoa! (He flops down; bangs on chair) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(He bites one of the tentacles and wrestles it, pinning it down.)
Cricket: I gotcha now! (It swats him in the face.) Ugh... (One more slap; he flops down.) Ugh. (gasps)
(The octopus stands armed with the chopsticks...then calmly drops them. Cricket is surprised.)
Cricket: You're...showin' me mercy? (pauses; shakes its tentacle) You're all right, sea monster.
(Tilly is already eating her meal.)
Tilly: How's your dinner, Cricket?
Cricket: (sits up, octopus on head) I can't eat him, Tilly. This little feller's gained my utmost respect.
(The octopus lays a tentacle on his pointing hand.)
Tilly: You've lost a meal... but you've gained a friend. I shall call him Ringo.
(He raises his hand in a truce.)
Cricket: From now on, all octopi are friends of Cricket Green!
Waiter (OS): Order up!
(They see the waiter taking another "sea monster burger".)
Waiter: One sea monster burger!
Cricket: (gasps) That could be Ringo's mom or dad or... ex-girlfriend! We have to go save 'em!
Other couple's table[]
(Gramma flips herself to the table where the trident hangs overhead.)
Gramma: All right... time to sneak up and take it back, sneaky style.
(She runs and climbs onto the table, knocking over the man's drink as she reaches for it.)
Gramma: Time for baby to come home!
Green waiter: (appears behind her) Whoa there! So sorry, ma'am, but our decor is (taking her down from the table) not meant to be played with. However, if you're craving some fun, we do offer some tableside entertainment!
(A fryer appears, frying a pan as a woman sitting on his shoulders breaks an egg into it; the couple is amused, but not Gramma.)
Couple: Oh!...Ah!...Mmm!
Gramma: (leaving) Meh, whatever. I need a different approach...
Greens' table[]
(Bill is not feeling well from the sushi.)
Bill: Oh, boy...
(The waiter enters with the next course.)
Waiter: All right, up next we have our famous whole wheat whole fish taco.
Bill: Wow, it... really is an entire fish. (starts to eat)
Waiter: Ah-ah! Hold on. We're supposed to cover it in our traditional fish milk powder. (adds such as he speaks)
Bill: (nervous) Who doesn't love fish milk...?! Ahhhh...
(He takes one bite.)
Bill: (muffled, thumbs-up) Oh, yeah! I love it!
(Smash to him eating the next course very disgusted.)
Waiter (OS): Your next course: our famous spaghett-eel!
Bill: (muffled, face turning green) Justl like Ma used to make...!
(Next course.)
Waiter (OS): Our blowfish will surely blow you away.
Bill: (bites it without chewing) Oh, good...!
(The blowfish inflates in his mouth.)
Waiter: I have to say, I'm pretty impressed. But let's see if you can handle... dessert. I'll be back in a minute!
(He walks off as Bill whimpers with defeat.)
Alexander and Terry's table[]
Alexander: Terry, will you hurry up and order already?! I've already got my food!
Tilly: (pops up between them) Hello!
Alexander: Oh my gosh!
Tilly: I'm an employee.
Alexander: (a bit nonplussed) Hello.
Tilly: I'm here to tell you some fun facts about your meal. (holds up a booklet reading "Octopi & You!".)
Alexander: Oh my gosh, wonderful! Isn't that wonderful, Terry?
(Terry just reads his menu.)
Tilly: Great, let's get started!
(As Tilly speaks, Cricket tries to grab Alexander's octopus away.)
Tilly: Did you know octo's are beautiful and cute?
Alexander: Oh my gosh, I had no idea!
Tilly: (sees Cricket) Uhhhh...
Alexander: What is it?
(He starts to look down at Cricket, but Tilly puts her booklet in his face.)
Tilly: Uh, check out these diagrams! Aren't they great?!
Cricket: (flops down with the octopus) Agh!! Oof. (removes octopus) Tilly, let's go!
Tilly: That concludes the presentation. THANK YOU, BYE! (leaves)
Alexander: Well, she was really sweet. (sees his empty sea monster burger) What the -- ?! Terry, why'd you eat all my octopus!!??
Greens' table[]
(Bill is completely bloated out from all the seafood.)
Bill: (groans) You can do this, Bill... You gotta show 'em... you're just like everyone else in Big City...!
(The final course arrives.)
Waiter: Your dessert, sir. Voila!
(He reveals a cake made out of realistic sea creatures.)
Bill: Huh?
Waiter: The seven seas seven layer poseidon slayer. Good luck. (leaves)
(Bill gulps loudly and holds up his fork.)
Indoor aquarium[]
(Cricket and Tilly dash onto a bridge.)
Cricket: All right, Tilly, let's send 'em home!
(They start to throw their octopuses into the water, but the waiter grabs them away.)
Waiter: Whoa there! These don't belong here! They belong in the tank! (throws them in that and leaves)
Cricket: Tank?
(The octopuses land in the big tank before them; hundreds of other fish and octopuses are there too.)
Cricket: Oh good golly, Tilly. We've gotta save 'em all!
Couples' table[]
(The waiter is guarding the table; Gramma watches.)
Gramma: I'm comin' for you, trident.
(Climbing onto the booth chair next to her, she grabs a life ring on a rope off a plaque and tosses it over a ceiling light.)
Purple woman: Oh, are you a performer? Is this a show?
Gramma: You bet yer tuches it is. YEE-HAW!!!
(She swings through the restaurant; the customers are impressed. She lands on the wall and walks across to the trident, and grabs it off.)
Gramma: Gotcha! (swings off and lands)
Green waiter: (catches her) HEY!
Gramma: Biscuits! (runs off)
Green waiter: GET BACK HERE!
Sushi bar[]
(Gramma flips behind the counter.)
Gramma: Oh... (looks up) Huh?
(She notices two sushi chefs before her; she sees the knives they're holding and the chopped fish.)
Gramma: Oh, so you wanna fight, huh?!
Male sushi chef: Fight? No!
Female sushi chef: What are you...?
Gramma: (charging) I'LL SWAB THE DECK WITH YA!
Male sushi chef: Agh!!! (blocks with his knife)
Bill's dream[]
(Bill is hallucinating from all the seafood he's eating, floating somewhere in an ocean world. He opens his eyes and gasps.)
Bill: What the...?
(Pulls back to reveal him in a seabed amongst a coral reef; he is shirtless, and his lower body is obviously non-human.)
Bill: Where am I? (looks down) Huh?
(He floats up, revealing his legs have been replaced with a tail; he has become a merman.)
Bill: Beautiful... (swims around) This place is so... peaceful.
(He fingers at some kelp.)
Male voice: Bill...
Bill: Who said that?
(A blue fish floats down before him and speaks to him.)
Fish: I did.
Bill: Who are you?
Fish: I... am a fish.
Bill: Oh.
Fish: But who... are you, Bill?
Bill: Well... (holding his tail) I'm a fish, too.
Fish: Hmm...are you sure?
Bill: I don't really know anymore.
Fish: (lifting his chin) Hey... There are a lot of different creatures in the sea. Not all of us are fish, and that's okay. (looks at anything that isn't a fish; offscreen) It's our differences that make the ocean a wonderful place. (back to him) You don't have to change who you are to fit in.
Bill: I don't?
(A glow catches him off-guard, and he gasps; in a flash, his tail becomes his human legs.)
Fish: You fit in, because... you're different.
Bill: Wow. Thanks, fish!
Fish: (guides him up) Goodbye, Bill.
(Bill swims higher and higher until he shoots to the surface and gasps for air.)
Reality, Sea Fusïon, Greens' table[]
(Smash to Bill zonked out in his chair; he wakes up and coughs all the seafood out. After a beat...)
Bill: (realizing) I belong in Big City!!
Aquarium, various[]
(Tilly swims down and grabs the two octopuses the waiter threw in. She shoots to the surface and gasps, throws them to Cricket in a tree, who catches them and throws them out into the ocean.)
Cricket: All right! Be free!
(Two more octopuses; he tosses them out too.)
Cricket (OS): We have granted your independence!
(Two more; back to him inside.)
Cricket: Good luck out there, you squishy sea spiders!
Waiter: (runs up to them below) Hey!!! What the heck do you think you're doing!?
Bill: (stomps up behind him) Excuse me, waiter? I've got a bone to pick with you. I came here wanting to try new things, but instead I got treated like I don't belong!
(Tilly bursts out of the water with another octopus.)
Tilly: Okay, fella... Back to where you belong. (throws it)
Bill: And that felt like a slap in the face.
(The octopus glomps to Cricket's face.)
Cricket: Agh! Oof. (struggles; pulls it off) Agh! (falls back)
Bill: I don't need to change who I am to fit in to Big City, 'cause I already fit in!
Sushi bar[]
Gramma: (threatening the sushi chefs) This is what you get for ruinin' pizza! (The octopus glomps to her face.) Oof!
(She stumbles and blindly hits the tank with the trident, causing it to crack all over.)
Aquarium, various[]
Bill: So I'm proud to finally come clean and tell you: I don't like the food here! And I won't be finishin' my dessert! Because it's gross.
Waiter: (infuriated) Well, GOOD RIDDANCE! The intricacies of Sea Fusïon are wasted on a country bumpkin like you!
(The tank finally breaks, causing the entire place to flood! Customers flee in fright.)
Waiter: And another thing -- (gets splashed) WHOAAA!!!!
(He gets washed out to sea.)
Waiter: I shouldn't have...! Put off those...! Swimming lessons...!!!
(All of the octopuses flow out.)
Cricket: Bye, Ringo! Wait. Bye, Ringo! Hold on. Bye, Ringo!
Tilly: (swimming in the water) Wheeeeee!!!
Cricket: (grabs her hand) Grab on!
(Gramma swims past; Tilly grabs her hand.)
Cricket: We did it, Tilly! We saved the octopuses! WE'RE HERO... (suddenly shocked) Oh, my goodness.
(The entire place is ruined.)
Random customer: What just happened?
(A wet Bill manages to stand up before he is greeted by a furious waiter...)
Green waiter: You and your family are banned FOR LIFE!
Bill: ...I'm so sorry.
Green waiter: GET OUT!!!!!!
Bill: (bolting away) Eugh!!!
Exterior[]
(Bill and the family make a run for it! Once they're out of the restaurant's sight...)
Bill: I guess we all learned an important lesson. Right, family?
Tilly: I don't...think so.
Gramma: Nah, not really.
Cricket: I saved an octopus!
Gramma: (looks at the trident) This isn't even my trident after all. But i'm keeping it, 'cause it's awesome.
Bill: Oh. (pause) Well...you guys wanna go get some pizza?
Cricket, Bill, Gramma: (jumping happily) YEAH!!
(Freeze-frame; zoom in slowly as a rock theme plays.)