This is an episode transcript for Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness? This features the Nighthawks segments.
Transcript[]
Nighthawks (Segment #1)[]
[The sing-along compilation begins at an ice cream parlor that's modeled after Edward Hoppers' famous 1942 painting "Nighthawks" in a dark rainy night. Inside, we see Remy Remington as an ice cream boy cleaning plates behind the counter, and Tilly Green, sitting and sleeping next to a glass window, alone and fidgeting. There are three almost empty sundae glasses on her table: two pink and one green. Tilly appears to be having a nightmare of some kind. We fade into it.]
Bill Green (from "His Cheeseburger" in Valentine's Dance/Green Streets): Ex-ex-ex-excuse me, I have an announcement. (continues reading the letter) "...and as a result of the disastrous outcome of the previous silly song..."
Tilly (from "The Song of the Cebú" in Hiya Henry/People Watching): Girl is riding with Cebu... Um... No wait. (No wait.)
Bill (from "Song of the Cebu"): (Th-th-) This is quite disappointing... (-disappointing... -disappointing...)
[We fade back to Tilly, still dreaming...]
Tilly: No. No!
[...then back to her nightmare...]
Bill (from "Cheeseburger"): Management has decided (-decided -decided...) that other performers... (-performers...)
Gloria Sato (from "Cheeseburger"): Cause you're his cheeseburger, his yummy cheeseburger...
Bill: Silly songs is cancelled... (Silly songs is cancelled- -is cancelled...) until further notice. (-cancelled...) Silly songs is cancelled... (-cancelled... -cancelled... -cancelled...)
[...and back to Tilly, who's fidgeting more vigorously.]
Tilly: Jibee! Jibee! Jibee! Nnnnn! Nnnnnn! No wait! Nnnnnn! Jibee! Jibee!
[Remy begins to take notice of Tilly's spastic squeaking and fidgeting.]
Tilly: Nnnnnnn! Cebu! Nnnnn!
Remy: Hey.
Tilly: Jibee!
Remy: Hey-hey, Miss. You okay?
Tilly: Jibee! Nnnnnn! Nnnn! Jibee!
Remy: Miss! Wake up, Miss! Miss?!
[The title "Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?" or "The End of Silliness?: More Really Silly Songs" comes up as Remy rushes over to see if Tilly's okay.]
(The show's theme song fades in at the point the Greens start heading for Big City. The lyrics appear at the bottom with the lyrics in yellow, which turns white on cue. However, the last lyric fades out at the end of the song.)
Nighthawks (Segment #2)[]
[We fade back to Remy and Tilly. Tilly has an ice pack on her head. She also has a cup of coffee in front of her.]
Remy: You had me worried there for a while, buddy. You okay?
Tilly: (Sniffs) Yeah. I'm okay.
Remy: Well...can I getcha anything? A push-up? (Tilly shakes her head) Waffle cone? (Tilly shakes her head again) Cup full of sprinkles?
Tilly: No. I don't need anything.
Remy: You, uh...wanna talk about it?
[Tilly looks up then looks over at a jukebox with a TV screen.]
Tilly: Does that thing work?
Remy: Mm-hmm.
Tilly: G-7.
Remy: Huh?
Tilly: G-7. Press G-7! (Remy walks over to the jukebox) It all started a while back when I was singing this song and... Well... I don't know! It just... kinda got messed up!
[Remy presses G-7 and the TV turns on to reveal the Silly Songs with Tilly title card for "The Song of the Cebú" from "Hiya Henry"/"People Watching", as the music starts. He walks away to the right. The camera zooms toward the TV.]
Lyrics[]
Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Tilly. The part of the show where Tilly comes out and sings a Silly Song. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Tilly Green presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event, The Song of the Cebú.
Tilly: Ce-bú!
This is a song about a girl...
a song about a little girl and her cebús...
a song about a little girl and her three cebús...
The little girl who had...
a sick cebú...
a sad cebú...
and a mute cebú.
And also a hippo.
Um... um... this is me at the airport. This is my Aunt Ruth. This is me at a bullfight. This is me fighting the bull.
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria: Ooh!
Tilly: This is me and the bull.
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria: Ahh!
Tilly: This is me and the bull and... I think that's the bull's cousin. He's a cebú!
Bill: Hold it! You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide projector and a bed sheet! And what on Earth is a Cebú, anyway?
Tilly: It's kind of like a cow. See?
Bill: Yes. Well, very good. This could be interesting. Carry on!
Tilly: Ce-bú! Sing it with me! Ce-bú!
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria: Ce-bú!
Tilly:
Girl is rid-ing
with Ce-bú
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Girl is rid-ing
with Ce-bú
Tilly:
Into town in
her ca-noe
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Into town in
her ca-noe
Tilly:
Sick Cebú is row-ing
and sneez-ing.
Achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo
moo moo
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo
moo moo
Tilly:
Hippo chew-ing
on bam-boo
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Hippo chew-ing
on bam-boo
Tilly:
Can't see Girl and
Three Ce-bú
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Can't see Girl and
Three Ce-bú
Tilly:
Sad Ce-bú is row-ing
and cry-ing
Boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo
moo moo
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo
moo moo
Tilly: Ce-bú!
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria: Ce-bú!
Tilly: Ce-bú!
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria: Ce-bú!
All:
Achoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo,
ce-bú!
Tilly:
Hip-po seen
by Mute Ce-bú
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Hip-po seen
by Mute Ce-bú
Tilly:
Tries to tell
the ot-her two
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Tries to tell
the ot-her two
Tilly:
Mute Cebú is wav-ing
and grun-ting
Mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm
mmm mmm
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
Mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm
mmm mmm
Tilly: Uh-oh.
Bill: Wait! What happens next?
Tilly: Um ...
Bill: Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute cebú successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the girl injured? Why is the sad cebú sad? Is the canoe wood or aluminum?
Tilly: Oh look! There's me and Cricket at Sea World! Oh, wow.
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria: Ooo!
Tilly: Forgot about that one. There's me and that bull again.
Bill: You can't just start a song and leave it hanging like that! You know, I've come to expect a lot more from you. This is quite disappointing! I'm gonna have to speak to Cricket about this.
Tilly: Oh look, a cebú!
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria: Ce-bu!
Tilly: No, wait ... that's a water buffalo.
Remy, Andromeda & Gloria:
No more song
about Ce-bú!
Need another
verse or two!
Audience is stand-ing
and leav-ing,
Bye-bye moo moo,
bye-bye moo moo,
bye-bye moo moo,
bye-bye moo moo
moo moo
Andromeda: I want my money back!
Remy: Yeah, that'd be ... that'd be good.
[The shot fades to the start of the sing-along version of the song, and goes from there.]
Nighthawks (Segment #3)[]
[Once the song is done, Remy laughs but stops when he sees Tilly's stern looking face. Tilly's not wearing her ice pack anymore.]
Tilly: What, do you think that's...funny?
Remy: Yeah. Ah... Oh. Uh... Uh, no. No. Wow. Eh, heh. That's gotta hurt.
Tilly: Yeah, but it wasn't my fault! (She flops her head onto the table.) They got 'em mixed up at Photo Hut!
Remy: W-wow. It, uh... Heh. It-it happens. But-but it's not a big deal. So you messed up a song. It's not the end of the world.
[Bill, disguised as a mysterious man, and Nancy, wearing a red dress, enter the ice cream parlor. The man's face is obscured by the turned up collar of his trench coat. The man sits down and places his briefcase on the counter.]
Remy: I'll be with you in a minute, folks. What you need is a little something to cheer you up. (Walks over to the jukebox again.) And- and I've got just the thing. (Presses a few buttons) There. That oughta do it.
(The TV shows the title card, as he walks away from the jukebox.)
Remy: What'll it be, Mr.?
[On the TV, the title card cuts to the start of the song.]
Nighthawks (Segment #4)[]
[After those above mentioned songs, Tilly sniffs a little.]
Tilly: Yeah. Maybe I should just try to be thankful for the time I did have with my Silly Songs. Bye, Silly Songs. Nice knowing you. It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E...
Remy: Okay. Wrong song. Bad timing. A-ah... These'll be great. You'll see. Oh! This one is so funny! (Laughs) "You're big, I'm little..." Okay, buddy. Hang on! Daddy's coming!
[The camera zooms to the TV which shows the title card.]
[It fades to the footage, and the rest continues from there. Afterwards two more songs play. After the last song in this section ends, it irises out serving into...]
Nighthawks (Segment #5)[]
Remy: (Laughs) Oh, that cracks me up! Bungee bungee bungee-wungee-fungee... Come on! (Laughs until he stops laughing and notices that Tilly's still not cheering up)
Tilly: I hope those guys didn't get hurt falling on their heads like that. You think they got hurt?
Remy: Oh. Gee, buddy. I don't know. They were wearing their helmets.
Tilly: Yeah. They were wearing their helmets. That's good.
Remy: Look. Pal. M-maybe it's none of my business, but... why are you so down? You wanna tell me what's going on?
Bill: I'll tell you what's going on! (Turns to reveal himself. Tilly looks shocked then grumpy. He walks over to the jukebox.) Perhaps this will clear things up. (Looks grumpily at Tilly. They both make funny faces, then looks grumpy again and selects a song: "His Cheeseburger" from "Valentine's Dance"/"Green Streets".)
Tilly: NO!
[Cuts to the start of the "Cheeseburger" song from "Valentine's Dance", without the fade-in at the start]
Lyrics[]
(music starts playing banjo)
Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Tilly, the part of the show where Tilly comes out and sings a silly song.
Bill: (offscreen) Just a moment! Wait! Stop talking! (music stops, and Bill shows up with a letter) Excuse me, I have an announcement. (clears throat, puts on glasses, and reads out a letter) "Because of the high standards we on this show strive to adhere to, and as a result of the disastrous outcome of the previous silly song, management has decided to review compositions from other performers for this segment. Several songs were screened and we chose one based on the applicants sense of artistry and all around propriety." Thank you.
(Tilly looks confused)
Tilly: So what are you saying?
Bill: (offscreen) I'm saying (onscreen) that Silly Songs is cancelled until further notice.
Tilly: (looks behind on the bear trap) Oh, yeah?! Well, then how am I supposed to get out of this bear trap?
Bill: I'm sure you'll figure something out.
(construction worker shows up and pulls out the new title card)
Announcer: And now it's time for Love Songs with Gloria, the part of the show where Gloria comes out and sings a love song.
Gloria: He said to her, "I'd like a cheeseburger
And I might like a milkshake right now.
She said to him, "I can't give you either."
And he said, "Isn't this Burger Clown?"
She said, "Yes it is but we're closed now.
But we open tomorrow at ten."
He said, "I am extremely hungry.
But I guess I can wait until then."
Cause you're his cheeseburger.
His yummy cheeseburger.
He'll wait for yo-u, yeah.
He will wait for yo-u.
Oh, you are his cheeseburger.
His tasty cheeseburger.
He'll wait for yo-u.
Oh, he will wait for you.
(changes to morning)
He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise.
He may have dozed off once or twice.
When he spotted a billboard for Denny's,
Bacon and Eggs for half price!
How could he resist such an offer?
He really needed something to munch!
Cheeseburger please do not get angry,
He'll eat and be back here for lunch.
Cause you're his cheeseburger.
His precious cheeseburger.
Be back for yo-u.
He'll be back for yo-u.
Won't be so long cheeseburger.
Oh, lovely cheeseburger
Be back for yo-u.
Oh, he'll be back for you.
Cause he loves you cheeseburger
With all his heart!
And there ain't nothin' gonna tear
You tw-o apart!
And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese,
He would get down on his hands and knees
To see if someone accidentally dropped
Some cheese in the dirt
And he would wash it off for you!
Wipe it off for you!!
Clean that dirty cheese off
Just for you!!!
You are his cheeeeeeese-burrrrrrrrr-geeeeeeeeeeeeeer...
Bill: I thought you were going to sing about growing up in the Big City!
Announcer: This has been Love Songs with Gloria. Tune in next time to hear Gloria say...
Gloria: ...I grew up in the suburbs.
Nighthawks (Segment #6)[]
[After the above-mentioned song, Remy looks at the "Love Songs with Gloria" card on the TV screen, then turns to Bill.]
Remy: (Gasps) You don't mean...?
Bill: Yes! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!
[Tilly gently bangs her head on the table.]
Remy: That's despicable. (Tilly still doing that) I'd feel that way too if somebody took my songs away.
[Tilly nods in agreement]
Bill: It's just that... I... Well... Surely you can understand my position. I was simply acting in the public's best interest. We do have standards to uphold, you know. (Remy looks scornfully at him) Yes. I see. Well... But then, I got these. (Opens his briefcase. Tilly looks on as the rain outside stops. He puts on his glasses, pulls out a pile of papers, takes one piece of paper, and reads it out loud.) Ahem!
"We, the undersigned, believe that Bill Green should forgive and forget the Song of the Cebu incident and return Silly Songs with Tilly to regular Big City programming, signed 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota and even someone in Moose Lake."
Tilly: Moose lake?
Bill: Yes. Moose lake.
Tilly: (Happy) Wow. Moose lake.
Bill: The people have spoken. I'm afraid I have no other choice but to hereby decree that Silly Songs is henceforth reinstated. Effective immediately! Which is what, I suppose, henceforth means. But no matter! Go on! Sing with all the silliness you can muster! (Climbs onto the counter) Let the world know, yea unto its farthest reaches, including, but not limited to, Moose Lake, that this is not the end of silliness, no, quite the contrary. Silliness has just begun! (Slips and falls off the counter. His head pops up from behind.) But try not to be too silly. Please?
[Tilly give Bill a thumbs up look, gets up and walks over to the jukebox. She pulls out a disc entitled "Silly Songs with Tilly: The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps". She puts the disc in. An arm of the jukebox places the disc in the player and "The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps" plays as the camera pans up to reveal "Silly Songs with Tilly"'s title card on the TV. It fades to the song.]
(The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps Starts)
Quartet Singers: Hm, hm, hm, hm. There lived a woman so long ago her memory's but faint. Was not admired. Did not inspire like president, or saint. Yet people came from far and near with their afflicted pets. For a special cure, they knew for sure, wouldn't come from other vets. Woooah-ooh...
Tilly: This is a song for your poor sick penguin. He's got a fever! And his toes are blue. But if I sing to your poor sick penguin, he will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de-ooo!
(Penguin spits out thermometer)
Gramma Alice: (to Gloria) He's gone a little loopy, in case you hadn't heard. Here's a couple penicillin for your sick antarctic bird.
Quartet Singers: Mm, mm, mmmmmm... No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut, the wondrous deeds that went on in that little alpine hut. Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps. For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps. Woooahh-ooh...
Gramma Alice: Good news on the penguin, doc: He's up and kicking.
Kitty: Meow.
Tilly: This is a song for your pregnant kitty. She's looking nauseous and a week past due, but if I sing to your pregnant kitty, she will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-ye-dee ye-de-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-aye-ooo. Ya-de ya-de yada-yada ya-ga-doo!
Kitty: Hiss!
Gramma Alice: (to Cricket) Jump in your car, drive into the city, buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty. (hands Criket a coupon for milk.)
Quartet Singers: Mm, mm, mmmmmm... The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day, when the nurse who did assist the doc asked for a raise in pay. The doctor pondered this a while, sat back and scratched her scalp. Then said:
Tilly: No way, Jose!
Quartet Singers: To the nurse of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps. Woooah-ohh...
Gramma Alice: Good news on the kitty doc: She's feelin' great. Six kittens, named one after you.
Ted the Bear: Roar!
Tilly: This is a song for your bear-trapped teddy. He looks uncomfy, think I'd be too. But if I sing to your bear-trapped teddy, he will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee o-layhee oly-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yaba-daba yaba-doo!
Ted the Bear: Roar! Roar-ah-ar-ah.
Gramma Alice: Oh yeah. That'll work. He's good.
Ted the Bear: (Roaring continually through background)
Tilly: Yodel-leh-hee, yodel-leh-hoo! No, wait! This should work! Yodel-leh-hee, Yodel-leh-hoo, yodel-leh-hoo!! Ooo!! Yodel-hoo!!
Quartet Singers: Mm, mm, mm, mmm... Now the moral of our story, it's the point we hope we've made: When you go a little loopy, better keep your nurse well paid!
Tilly: (being chased by the bear) Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! Yodel odle odle aye de aye de ooo-ooo-ooo!
Quartet Singers: Wooah! Some would stand in silence, while some just scratched their scalps, for the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps.
Tilly: (still running from the bear) Yodel-hoo!
(end of transcript)